038 B - Old wolf rot tooth

  
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I’m spiritually preparing for a new project. For a few weeks, Fridays are going to be experiments in juxtaposition.

Feel free to download and do whatever you want with this track (no attribution required, copyright 2020 by Austin Meyers, no rights reserved, etc). If you do something cool with it, send it over I’d love to hear it (and if you’ll let me I might post it).

Here’s a hi res file (24-bit/44.1Khz) here — 038B-a-bellow-a-tone-then-static-copyright-2020-austin-meyers-no-rights-reserved-no-attribution-required.wav

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Source

I think, like a lot of us, I’ve always realized that the future will be worse than the now. That I have always been treated by the state as responsible for things that my resources, opportunities and abilities may or may not allow me to change. That I live in a legal system that ascribes agency to a legal entity through a misreading of an emotional rubric in a secularized Christian prayer about an alienated isolated subject praying to a daddy to save it from being a prideful disappointed pussy by imbuing it with character and humility so that it may have enough self-knowledge to self-regulate and therefore be able to receive accolades and beatings with equal grace — in short homo economicus

The state has nothing to do with a Reinhold Niebuhr poem. But neither does sobriety. And my mind conflates things, but it does seem like what I hear from my state is that I should have always been less weak and never needed the serenity to accept anything. 

Perhaps one aspect of white privilege is that while black people must be held to account for what cannot be changed whites are not, while we all know full-well that the whites can change the unchangeable and black people cannot. Accountability is proportional to an agent's degrees of separation from power. The president's kid can kill anyone. The pauper's kid can't cross the street. Black generic homo-economicus has more accountability that an equivalent white. 

The whims of the powerful build networks of violence and create the endlessly fluid basis of accountability. It grows arbitrarily, strangling, rotting, parasitizing. Always seeking more. There's a version of the world where money only has value because it's what a rich person throws at the next richest person who is covered in the first's bored cum. 

Paranoia is the point. Too much accountability with declining resources, opportunities and abilities will make a mind insane. The insane don't collectively bargain. 

If one doesn't follow the rules, they're in trouble. If they forget the rules, they're in trouble. But, the rules are easy to know and follow if they speak this language, have this net income and these familial bonds to people who also can follow these rules. Assuming they have all of that, the system favors them, is rigid and will hold them firmly in place. Otherwise it's down, down, down. 

If an agent does not have the exact confluence of factors described in step "But, the rules are easy to know and follow if...", that agent will fall forever until they they are killed through neglect and violence. It is important that this agent could be anyone within the system, though as we have discussed, degrees of separation of power more or less predict which particular agents are destined for the furnaces so the favored can sniff the air, pause for the loss; grateful for the sacrifice to the system; wise and happy knowing there's nothing they can or could do.

Sofa Flower Moon loves you.